Thoughts from a lonely soul

Maybe it's because I was raised watching Oprah, Dr. Phil, Phil Donahue and Ricky Lake, but I want to talk about how my life is going and I want an audience. I don't want a studio audience with one of those signs that lights up "Applause" when they're supposed to clap. I want trusted friends around me who will listen to my experiences and honestly share theirs as well. I need kindred spirits. Maybe the Book of Acts is like a sitcom, full of unrealistic living that we all just idolize but can never attain without television magic. Maybe the Book of Acts is true. Maybe the early Christians, with their tightly knit Jewish culture still fresh in their minds were able to achieve something that we can't achieve in our church, community. Nobody knows exactly what it looked like but we have an idea.

"All the believers were one in heart and mind." – Acts 4:32. I don't know if that means they were all Democrats or Republicans. I guess that's how some people view Christians today, they all have to love George Bush and believe that Al Gore is as honest about the environment as he was about inventing the internet. To have the same heart though, goes way beyond Donkeys and Elephants, it gets to the core of our purposes. What's our purpose for giving to our church? What's our purpose for owning things? What's our purpose in paying taxes? It is what is in our heart that motivates us to take action. The beautiful part of the early church is that people KNEW what was going on in each other's hearts. Today, we have no idea.

There isn't time in between services and there's no talking out of turn during the jumbo-sized Bible Study classes/lectures to actually converse. The service is just that, something to do. Maybe the Sunday service is just supposed to be something you attend, but what of the rest of our energy? What do we do with the rest of our resources? (I'm talking about our prayers, our people and our possessions). I say we agree that we're supposed to have the same heart of Christ and then we decide what to do with those resources. It seems like our plan instead is, "What's been done before?" "What got us to where we are today?" The problem with that thinking is that the world is always changing. My father's generation doesn't trust psychology and expected to work for one company their whole life. My generation is overmedicated from too many Dr.'s visits and we change jobs every 3.2 years. My generation is transient, mobile and ready to pick up our roots. We don't need a building, we need a Church. A catholic (notice the small "c") church, one that is truly universal.

Do you know that Christian leaders actually criticized Rick Warren and some other pastors for focusing too much on the AIDS situation in Africa? They actually argued the point that some people were caring too much about people dying from a preventable disease that has left a generation of children orphaned! They said that the focus on AIDS took away from more important issues like salvation. OK, well then how about the critics go over to Africa and try to get kids who are 8 years old and are running their homes to listen to them talk about Jesus? Or maybe we could feed those kids first and toss in a little medication that could prevent the spread of AIDS and THEN talk about Jesus. It is truly disheartening to see how far we are from all the believers being of one heart and mind. We cannot expect people who's needs are not being met to be good listeners. An empty grumbling stomach is always louder than any other noise.

I am so sad and so tired of wanting and of needing a safe place to worship, fellowship and serve and coming up with pink walls, polite greetings, dressed up souls that weep under their Sunday's best and an expectation that church is the Church. I know I need the Church and I that I am the Church. I want to be a part of the solution, not one of the crabby, "I've got it all figured out" whiners who spend all of their energy complaining. I want to help. I want a voice. I want us to reach out people who are too afraid or angry to walk through the doors of a building that says church on the outside of it. I want to connect the people inside of the building with each other because when we love one another the world knows that we are followers of Christ. Our Leader said this, "A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another. By this all men will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another." – John 3:34,35 He didn't say have another Bible study, give another sermon and make sure your kids go through confirmation. He said "Love one another." Why aren't we doing more of that and less of the stuff that keeps us busy while we're in our church building? What if we did less good things so we could do fewer but greater things? The greatest thing we can do is show people that we love Him, and we do that by loving one another. God, help me figure out how and where to do that. I feel very lost.